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Like, without wondering if he thinks she's hotter than you. You feel sad for the dancers with dead eyes who are not very good or energetic and look super-young, like creepy young, Everything gets real dark for a hot second and you just want the song to end, to tell her to wipe that glitter off her face and go back to school, and where are her parents? You wonder whether you and your boyfriend would have the same taste in strippers. Everyone fucking throws down to "Partition. Because when you leave spin class you look like a melted ice cream cone with hair.

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Charli. Age: 22.
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You think you're becoming BFFs with a friendly stripper until you realize she just wants a hundy.

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Helen. Age: 22.
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21 Things That Happen When Women Go to Strip Clubs

You look down at the actually-decent-looking and normal-seeming guys conducting what seem like business meetings close to the stage and wonder what their deal is. You make the most uptight one of the group go put a dollar bill in a thong and she does it even though she's kind of annoyed and embarrassed. You start feeling like a chump for not getting paid to work out like these women do. You're so hungover the next day that you want to die.

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