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Elizabeth says this helped her learn to manage her orgasms. Yet if he came first, sex was over. The decision to end a sexual encounter because of premature orgasm can be borne of mental dismay or physical discomfort. Queen advises figuring out if a particular sexual act or position triggers premature orgasms and avoiding them if you want to last longer. We are quick to make it a problem for men, and not so much women, because of heteronormative and reproductively focused definitions of sex. While premature orgasm is a phenomenon you most often hear about as it occurs for men, a study in Sexologies documented it for women. When Sara Radin, a year-old writer in Brooklyn, started hooking up at age 16, she had a secret: She would orgasm while she and her partners were making out, and, by the time they got to sex, she was no longer interested in continuing.

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Corinne. Age: 29.
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Queen advises figuring out if a particular sexual act or position triggers premature orgasms and avoiding them if you want to last longer.

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Kaliyah. Age: 28.
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16 Subtle, Superfast Ways to Turn Yourself On

Layla recently got up the courage to tell a partner to slow down and be gentler, which helped her delay orgasm. The difference in how male and female premature orgasm are treated may stem from the cultural idea that sex is over once a man finishes, says Queen. That premature orgasms are not typically deemed a dysfunction in women, while they often are in men, raises questions about how sexual behavior comes to be medicalized.

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