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Photos of enslaved Africans bound by chains and covered in whip marks provoked a visceral horror in me. Fourteen years after my first kinky encounter, I entered a relationship that helped me grow as a submissive. Occasionally, I do a self-check to make sure this still feels good and right—and every time a strong hand grips my throat or a paddle whacks my backside, it always does. But when I saw similar items used in the consensual kink realm, I would become curious and highly aroused. Growing up, I had no real contact with white people, outside of teachers, police, and retail workers. As I became more vocal about my involvement in BDSM on social media, I noticed that black people would frequently shame me for my preferences. I remember the initial, instinctive fight to live, as my body felt on the brink of oxygen-deprivation.

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This man wanted to be my master as much as I wanted to be his slave, and in each other, we found the ideal partner.

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I remember the initial, instinctive fight to live, as my body felt on the brink of oxygen-deprivation. My obligations are so draining, I relish the comfort I feel when I can safely give myself over to someone who respects, loves, and values me. This man wanted to be my master as much as I wanted to be his slave, and in each other, we found the ideal partner.

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